Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Giant Syrian camels and a message for married men
Archeologists have discovered that giant camels the size of elephants once stalked the Syrian desert, and humans hunted them for food.
Hunters stalked giant camels as tall as some modern-day elephants in the Syrian desert tens of thousands of years ago and archaeologists behind the find are wondering where the camels came from and what caused them to die off.
The enormous beasts existed about 100,000 years ago and more of the bones, first discovered last year, have been found this year in the sands about 150 miles north of the capital, Damascus.
The animal, branded the "Syrian Camel" by its Swiss and Syrian discoverers, stood between three and four yards high — about twice the size of latter-day camels and the height at the shoulder of many African elephants.
Cool.
This story reminds me of a wonderful 90 year-old poem about the very first camel. Watch for the punchline with the proto-feminist subtext.
Or possibly Algeria,
Or some benighted neighborhood of barrenness and drouth,
There came the Prophet Samu-u-el
Upon the Only Cam-u-el –
A bumpy, grumpy Quadruped of discontented mouth.
The atmosphere was glutinous;
The Cam-u-el was mutinous;
He dumped the pack from off his back; with
Horrid grunts and squeals
He made the desert hideous;
With strategy perfidious
He tied his neck in curlicues, he kicked his paddy heals.
Then quoth the gentle Sam-u-el,
“You rogue, I ought to lam you well!
Though zealously I’ve shielded you from every
grief and woe,
It seems, to voice a platitude,
You haven’t any gratitude.
I’d like to hear what cause you have for doing
thus and so!”
To him replied the Cam-u-el,
“I beg your pardon, Sam-u-el,
I know that I’m a Reprobate, I know that I’m a
Freak;
But, oh! This utter loneliness!
My too-distinguished Onliness!
Were there but other Cam-u-els I wouldn’t be
unique.”
The Prophet beamed beguilingly.
“Aha,” he answered, smilingly,
“You feel the need of company? I clearly under-
stand.
We’ll speedily create for you
The corresponding made for you –
Ho! Presto, change-o, dinglebat!” – he waved a
potent hand,
And lo! From out Vacuity
A second Incongruity,
To wit, a Lady Cam-u-el was born through magic
art.
Her structure anatomical,
Her form and face were comical;
She was, in short, a Cam-u-el, the other’s counter-
part.
As Spaniards gaze on Aragon,
Upon that Female Paragon
So gazed the Prophet’s Cam-u-el, that primal
Desert Ship.
A connoisseur meticulous,
He found her that ridiculous
He grinned from ear to auricle until he split his lip!
Because of his temerity
That Cam-u-el’s posterity
Must wear divided upper lips through all their
solemn lives!
A prodigy astonishing
Reproachfully admonishing
Those wicked, heartless married men who ridicule
their wives.
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