Sunday, July 02, 2006
Americans: Hapless tools of the sports commentariat
I continue to be amazed at the reaction of the rest of the world to the unwillingness of most Americans to watch the World Cup, or any professional soccer match for that matter. Journalists who write on the topic seem so terribly confused and hurt. Rather than face the possibility that soccer is just not as fun to watch as the alternatives available to Americans, they search for explanations, most of which are asinine. Reuters, for example, blames the sports commentators:
American opinion is still shaped by a handful of sports commentators who can barely hide their hostility to soccer.
Oh, that makes sense. I don't even understand how they square this with the usual foreign view that Americans commercialize everything. What's the theory? -- that American sports entrepeneurs and consumer products companies are missing out on billions in revenue because of the nefarious manipulations of "a handful of sports commentators"? That must be it. We're all just hapless tools of the national sports commentator conspiracy.
Sheesh.
21 Comments:
By 
Gordon Smith, at
Sun Jul 02, 08:18:00 AM:
I've been having a great time watching World Cup soccer, and I'm baffled by your distaste for the sport.
By Purple Avenger, at
Sun Jul 02, 08:45:00 AM:
I'd rather watch paint dry than watch soccer.
By TigerHawk, at
Sun Jul 02, 08:52:00 AM:
Screwy, I always knew you were secretly a foreigner.
By TigerHawk, at
Sun Jul 02, 09:55:00 AM:
I'm no Francophobe. There are thing I like about France, including its government. I would probably cheer for France against Brazil, too. If I gave it any thought.
By 
, at
Sun Jul 02, 11:41:00 AM:
Yes, the American viewing public is victim to a cabal of neo-con sports commentators backed by corporate interests (team owners, beer companies, Nike).
By Unknown, at
Sun Jul 02, 12:44:00 PM:
The World Cup is the most important sporting event in the world--outside of the US.
I'm not quite sure why others care so much that we don't watch, but there does seem to be a fair amount of curiousity about it.
I guess if everybody in the world watched the Super Bowl except the French, we'd wonder about that, too.
By Chris, at
Sun Jul 02, 01:04:00 PM:
Let's see, Americans don't like a game that's played mostly at a glacial pace, has very little, if any, scoring, and where one unaccountable official determines the flow and often the outcome of the game. Sounds like socialism. What's not to like?
By Dawnfire82, at
Sun Jul 02, 02:08:00 PM:
I've enjoyed watching the Cup, though I don't follow it fanatically. I think it's because I used to play on an All Stars team when I was a teenager and appreciate parts of it (like footwork) that most folks don't even notice.
Same story with many sports, I think; people tend to like to watch sports that they themselves have played more than others.
By anthony, at
Sun Jul 02, 04:22:00 PM:
Europeans love Soccer and think it's fantastic. They admire Yanks and would like to see their energy and resources at marketing and hyping turn soccer into a stratospheric sport where the world just stops at game time. You yourself have pointed to the oddity that the succesful undermining of a game with so much potential for marketing goods and services worldwide through concurrent promotion seems liked a missed opportunity not likely to be masterminded by a handful of meathead ex-steroid using sports-commentators. In truth, if one considers that massive populations like China, India, Indonesia as well as the US are all fairly lukewarm in the support of the sport and none of these countries field dominant teams or host big money-spinning leagues, it seems that about half the world is actually pretty much uninterested in soccer. I imagine that FIFA is somewhat ambivalent about courting a larger US audience, for reasons I can't easily articulate. Also theres the whole, no tv commercials for 45 minutes thing. Thats probably as big a reason US tv has resisted soccer as any.
By Consul-At-Arms, at
Sun Jul 02, 04:45:00 PM:
I was proud of our team. They didn't get past their alloted three games, but at least they don't practice the play-acting, diving and faked injuries that are routine for other teams.
By Assistant Village Idiot, at
Sun Jul 02, 09:07:00 PM:
anthony may be on to something here. Of the top ten nations in population, only Brazil is a fanatic soccer nation. Of the others, the US, Russia, and Japan have mild interest.
In the second ten, only three are big soccer countries: Mexico, Germany, and Turkey. Iran, Egypt, and Nigeria have mild interest.
But for the next twelve, nine are fanatic soccer countries. These are the countries with roughly 30-60M in population.
The worldwide division is fairly straightforward: Europe and Latin America love soccer, West Africa and the Middle East are starting to, and there is only scattered interest in other places. In the Anglosphere, only the UK, especially England, is fanatic. Canada, US, Australia - mild interest.
I had mentioned earlier that I believe Americans admire soccer skills but don't care about watching the game, because luck is too frequently a factor and it offends our sense of justice. The better team in football or basketball wins 90% of the time. It's slightly less in baseball, but the length of season and playoff series remove the luck factor. The better soccer team only wins about 70% of the time.
By , at
Sun Jul 02, 10:02:00 PM:
Why has soccer failed in the US?
Lack of tradition and long-lasting leagues. Baseball has teams dating back to the 1860's; Collegiate Football to the 1880's; Professional Football to the teens; Collegiate Basketball to the 1890's; and Professional Basketball to the 1920s.
Tradition matters in the USA, particularly in Sports. We are derided as the mini-mall nation yet take our sports tradition VERY seriously. Soccer as a latecomer (NASCAR dates to the 40's) pays the price for that.
Secondly, we have so much competition in other sports that the best athletes go to where the money is, football, baseball, and basketball. Only guys not good enough to be pros in other sports go to soccer. [Image Reggie Bush and LenDale White playing soccer]
Thirdly, the game is laced with both Euro-weenie elitist and Euro-thug imagery. Americans associate Soccer with hooligans, riots, and paradoxically Euro snobbery.
All this combines to make Soccer a non-starter despite it being the #1 kids game. Everyone plays soccer as a kid, and falls quickly out of love with it as they age.
By , at
Mon Jul 03, 02:25:00 AM:
There is much to be said for the fact that, especially to Americna eyes, soccer just doesn't seem to attract the top athletes. I appreciate that there's a lot of skill in dribbling, dodging, shooting and all the other ball-handling tricks, but there are few if any soccer players who can match the speed, size and strength of professional football or basketball players.
And Americans never do seem to like games with little offensive activity. Even hockey, which is far from popular here, has 30 or so shots on goal per side. Soccer has practically none, at east from what I've seen.
By , at
Mon Jul 03, 12:11:00 PM:
Y'all just hate what you can't understand.
Watch France-Portugal on Wednesday. This could be your final opportunity to witness a legend and footballing genius (Zinedine Zidane) in action.
And don't worry. Soccer is on the ascendancy here in the US. When your kids eschew the made-for-tv sports that currently dominate America's landscape (I'd rather watch paint dry then another NBA game - foul on Wade! foul on Wade!) maybe then you'll start picking up on the subtleties of "the beautiful game".
By Diecast Dude, at
Mon Jul 03, 03:28:00 PM:
"The subtleties of 'the beautiful game.'"
You kick the ball to him, he'll kick the ball to that other guy... oops, kicked it to the guy in the wrong color shirt, now he'll kick it... now let's all run this way... no, let's run the other way... oh no, someone breathed on me, I'm going to write in mortal agony now... well, the game clock is up, but we'll keep playing anyway for whatever amount of time the ref chooses... no, why should he tell us how long that will be... let's spend ten minutes setting up for a shot that doesn't have a prayer of getting within ten yards of the net... oh yeah, awesome subtleties.
By Diecast Dude, at
Mon Jul 03, 03:30:00 PM:
Make that writhe in agony, not write in agony.
By Assistant Village Idiot, at
Mon Jul 03, 07:19:00 PM:
DD - to be fair, most sports could be describe in similarly ridiculous terms.
But point taken.
By , at
Tue Jul 04, 07:16:00 AM:
I see you're a NASCAR guy, DD. Do I really need to say anything about that 'sport'? Of course, I'm sure you're ready to defend its 'subtleties' as well...
I'm convinced Americans just like sports that are made for TV. That's because they're too busy sitting on their rears watching the tube instead of actually going out and playing. No wonder our kids are so fat. If you took the time to understand the strategy involved in soccer, just like any noob to American football or baseball would have to take the time, you'd probably be a bit more appreciative of the sport.
By TigerHawk, at
Tue Jul 04, 07:33:00 AM:
Genuine question out of curiousity: what does the statistical base for soccer look like? What are the key indicators that you would use to build a fantasy league, for example?
By , at
Tue Jul 04, 08:46:00 AM:
See here for English Premier League fantasy football scoring rules. There are stats, just like any other sport, although soccer has fewer overall.
By Dawnfire82, at
Tue Jul 04, 10:11:00 PM:
"That's because they're too busy sitting on their rears watching the tube instead of actually going out and playing."
Oh, rather like the tens of thousands of people who are watching the World Cup in person in Germany (pretty analogous to crowds at American sporting events isn't it?) or maybe the tens of millions (outside the US) who skip work and ignore their spouses to watch World Cup games while sitting on their rears instead of actually playing?
Please keep generalizations to yourself, or I'll be forced to bring out "All Canadians are pansies," "Asian women are terrible drivers," or "Europeans are snooty, arrogant assholes" (whichever fits) in retaliation.
