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Thursday, November 04, 2004

So why are we only weighing luggage? 

Heavy suitcases aren't the only things weighing down airplanes and requiring them to burn more fuel, pushing up the cost of flights. A new government study reveals that airlines increasingly have to worry more about the weight of their passengers.

America's growing waistlines are hurting the bottom lines of airline companies as the extra pounds on passengers are causing a drag on planes. Heavier fliers have created heftier fuel costs, according to the government study.

According to the study that is the subject of the article, incremental American fat since 1990 -- not the total obesity, but the rolls at the margin -- burns off an extra 350,000,000 gallons of jet fuel every year, and dumps 3,800,000 tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere of our allegedly warming panet.

We need to do something about this, and I mean now. Our very first step should be -- must be -- to forbid people who need a seat-belt extender from flying coach. At least next to me. That would move them all into first class, which my company does not permit me to fly, or off the plane entirely. Either way, we're all ahead.

Oh. Sorry. I'm obviously in an unaccountably cruel mood. I apologize.

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