Thursday, August 14, 2008
Regarding the "seat cascade"
I spend a lot of time in the coach cabins of commercial airliners. I have come to believe that we, as a society, have poorly developed rules of engagement for comfortable air travel, particularly regarding the reclining of one's seat. We need norms! Accordingly, I hereby propose that we all agree on the following rules:
1. If you are sitting in coach on a flight during the day that is less than three hours long and you recline your seat without conforming to one of the permitted exceptions defined below (the "Permitted Exceptions"), you are an asshole.
2. The Permitted Exceptions are (1) there is nobody sitting in the seat behind you, (2) there is a child or other genuinely tiny person sitting in the seat behind you, (3) the person in front of you has pushed his seat back because he is either an asshole or fits under one of the Permitted Exceptions, and (4) through no fault of your own you are a particularly large person.
3. If you recline your seat (whether or not you have a Permitted Exception) without giving at least two seconds of advance warning to the person behind you (such as turning around and saying "I'm awfully sorry, but I have to recline my seat") so that he can reposition his laptop so it does not get wedged in the little notch in which his tray table resides, you are an asshole.
I do, by the way, appreciate that I am offending the great majority of airline travelers, since rarely do people give warning. That does not make it any less rude. Get over your reticence and give the guy behind you a break. It is the right and considerate thing to do, and we will be a better country because of it.
Are we clear?
16 Comments:
By 
Charlottesvillain, at
Thu Aug 14, 02:18:00 PM:
While you're at it, can you establish some norms regarding the guy in the seat behind me who is always letting his newspaper fall into my hair? He's an asshole too.
By Cardinalpark, at
Thu Aug 14, 02:23:00 PM:
oh yes, speaking of asshole, you need to make prohibit flatulance
By TigerHawk, at
Thu Aug 14, 02:42:00 PM:
Flatulance is more forgiveable than either B.O. or bad breath, both of which are easier to control. I'd be in some risk of violating the anti-flatulance rule.
'Villain, does the newspaper fall into your hair even when you have not reclined? I do not have that problem. Maybe that happens up in the front of the plane, where it is possible to read the newspaper in the first place. I wouldn't know.
By Charlottesvillain, at
Thu Aug 14, 02:58:00 PM:
Definitely the back of the plane.
By 
, at
Thu Aug 14, 03:01:00 PM:
Tigerhawk:
What does "B.O." mean? Is it related to flatulance? Back Orifice?
Otherwise I completely agree with your post. I, a 190 cm and 105 kg pig also have suffered from this crap (albeit my flights are usually transpacific or transcontinental+transatlantic).
Whenever I recline my seat, I never ask the guy behind me. However, if I can, I look back, to ensure that he doesn't have anything on his tray table, and I usually make an eye contact with him/her (preferably the latter). But the far more important thing is, and this should be the norm, is that I recline my seat *SLOWLY*. BTW this could be easily solved by modifying the seats, and I wondered many times why this haven't happened.
Vilmos
By TigerHawk, at
Thu Aug 14, 03:16:00 PM:
B.0., until very recently, was an accepted American term for body odor from inadequate bathing or the insufficient use of deodorant. I agree that moving a seat back slowly, especially when accompanied by eye contact, is implicit warning. The warning need not be verbal.
By JamesEJ, at
Thu Aug 14, 03:26:00 PM:
On behalf of the short and small people, I want to point out that this is just a part of divine justice. Tall and big people have advantages in most contexts. This is one of the few where we smaller people finally receive some benefit. I don't care who the asshole is, I am just glad that there are still a few places where we have a benefit for our stature. Now, if we could just switch over to per pound rates for flying ...
By Larry Sheldon, at
Thu Aug 14, 03:30:00 PM:
I have developed the perfect solution.
If I have to go by Commercial Airline, I don't have to go.
By , at
Thu Aug 14, 03:48:00 PM:
Once on a plane trip I had to take an aisle seat so I could stick my leg out into the aisle - I had broken my ankle and was wearing a walking boot.
The lady in front of me reclined her seat. I was so pissed through the whole flight, when I then realized at the end of the flight that she was pregnant.
Preggers get an exception too. I don't wanna piss off some lady who's not only carrying an uncomfortable load, but also has psycho hormones flowing.
By Larry Sheldon, at
Thu Aug 14, 03:55:00 PM:
My real message is: don't get angry at the fellow passenger--get angry at the airline management.
How do you convey that anger? Refuse to play the game!
It is that simple.
By MEANA55, at
Thu Aug 14, 05:20:00 PM:
Simple answer: Open the overhead A/C vent to its maximum, and aim it as far forward as it will go toward the head of the reclining person.
It works.
By , at
Thu Aug 14, 05:31:00 PM:
Under the most dire circumstances, I might be forced to release the "flaming llama". This particular type of posterior 'expression' has been known to melt the seat fabric into a polyester goo, for as many as several rows forward of the perp.
Although noxious, this technique insures anonymonity; it helps if you look around with an innocent but disgisted look on your face.
Flight attendants refer to this practice as 'crop-dusting', and they do it all the time, so it must be legal.
By , at
Thu Aug 14, 07:59:00 PM:
I have very strong knees. If the person in front is comfy with my knees poking into their back then more power to them. The knees may move occasionally too. I am impervious to the evil eye, and I am also NOT the person with whom you want to get into a verbal insult match. Amazingly enough, most people choose to un-recline.
By , at
Thu Aug 14, 11:28:00 PM:
Anonymous:
> I am impervious to the evil eye,
> and I am also NOT the person
> with whom you want to get into
> a verbal insult match.
Just make sure that your opponent is not a Hungarian. When it comes to verbal insults, we can and will overpower everybody. :-)
Vilmos
By , at
Thu Aug 14, 11:30:00 PM:
I blame the airlines ... as a very frequent flier, I often encounter the broken seat that stays reclined, and the unusually cramped space. On Continental, it's almost impossible to open up a computer on the tray. It's just too short a distance.
By Donna B., at
Fri Aug 15, 04:05:00 PM:
Gee, all y'all are nicer than me. When someone reclines into "my space" I just push the seat forward, saying, "Excuse me, I paid for this space."
So far, no one has offered to reimburse me for the privilege of their comfort over mine.
The airlines are to blame because it's stupid to even have reclining seats in the cattle section.
