Friday, April 20, 2007
Inflating the currency: praising little by praising much
In my capacity as a parent, I have long disagreed with those who believe that children need constant praise, even when their performance is well within the bounds of our expectations. Praise is like currency -- if you dump too much of it into circulation, it soon becomes worthless.
That is why this development (WSJ) is such bad news for the American workplace:
You, You, You -- you really are special, you are! You've got everything going for you. You're attractive, witty, brilliant. "Gifted" is the word that comes to mind.
Childhood in recent decades has been defined by such stroking -- by parents who see their job as building self-esteem, by soccer coaches who give every player a trophy, by schools that used to name one "student of the month" and these days name 40.
Now, as this greatest generation grows up, the culture of praise is reaching deeply into the adult world. Bosses, professors and mates are feeling the need to lavish praise on young adults, particularly twentysomethings, or else see them wither under an unfamiliar compliment deficit.
Employers are dishing out kudos to workers for little more than showing up. Corporations including Lands' End and Bank of America are hiring consultants to teach managers how to compliment employees using email, prize packages and public displays of appreciation. The 1,000-employee Scooter Store Inc., a power-wheelchair and scooter firm in New Braunfels, Texas, has a staff "celebrations assistant" whose job it is to throw confetti -- 25 pounds a week -- at employees. She also passes out 100 to 500 celebratory helium balloons a week. The Container Store Inc. estimates that one of its 4,000 employees receives praise every 20 seconds, through such efforts as its "Celebration Voice Mailboxes."
Barf.
Back in the day there were bosses who were so curmudgeonly that they would not praise even outstanding work. The linked article quotes an older lawyer who says that when he was an associate, "If you weren't getting yelled at, you felt like that was praise." And it was. Praise was praise, and a dollar was worth a dollar.
Now, just as the gold standard had its shortcomings, it is possible to be too abstemious with the compliments. Fine. By all means praise somebody who does something worthy, something that causes you to think "if I only had three more of her." But if you are a parent, teacher, or employer, please don't ruin your credibility and spoil your children, students or employees with vacuous, disingenuous praise, the only honest purpose of which is to manipulate the target's emotional state. When your children, students or employees understand that a compliment from you is a real achievement, they will cherish it all the more and work harder to earn another one.
12 Comments:
By 
Grumpy Old Man, at
Fri Apr 20, 08:20:00 AM:
Well, TH, that was a bit less tedious than your usual drivel. It's a near thing, but I won't remove your RSS feed this morning.
By 
, at
Fri Apr 20, 08:47:00 AM:
The consistantly adequate, regardless of complexity and degree of difficulty, is a more reliable standard and more desireable in an employee, a student, or a content provider.
This was an adequate post.
By TigerHawk, at
Fri Apr 20, 08:50:00 AM:
High praise indeed from you guys!
By Georg Felis, at
Fri Apr 20, 10:01:00 AM:
Easy does it TH. That wasn’t praise, just a reluctant admission of performance approaching your regularly defined mean. For praise, we want to see more cat pictures :)
By Purple Avenger, at
Fri Apr 20, 10:36:00 AM:
Everyone is entitled to good self-esteem even if they're a slacking incompetent!
By Charlottesvillain, at
Fri Apr 20, 10:37:00 AM:
I have some employees like that, but I just thought it was because they are women. I didn't realize it was a generational thing.
(ducking the arrows)
By , at
Fri Apr 20, 01:32:00 PM:
It would have been "better" if you had more pictures of Pamela Anderson or a similar young woman to support your assertions. Remember that in the future, as you keep us abreast of these ideas.
-David
By SR, at
Fri Apr 20, 01:56:00 PM:
Ah the joys of generational diversity.
By MrSurly, at
Fri Apr 20, 03:32:00 PM:
If anyone ever threw confetti at me while I'm trying to work, that person would be coughing up confetti for a week. I guess I'm not in the generation that needs constant praise. I fear for this generation though. Since I've started teaching a college course, I've heard so much whining about grades. Rampant grade inflation, I think, is another symptom of the constant need for praise among a large number of young people. Students these days believe that receiveing a B or C on an exam is somehow insulting and that grades can be "negotiated". Unfortunetly, weak educators give in to childish demands for a higher grade. Repeat after me, "I am not a special and delicate flower..."
By , at
Fri Apr 20, 08:52:00 PM:
Obviously my boss never got the touchy-feely memo; he seems to be a practitioner of the KITA management method. Praise consists of not receiving the daily kicking.
By joated, at
Fri Apr 20, 09:00:00 PM:
"Boss, if you feel my work is worthy of praise, put it in the check I get or leave me the hell alone to do my work!"
By Assistant Village Idiot, at
Sat Apr 21, 08:58:00 PM:
Self-respect is more valuable than self-esteem. This is particularly true as the currency of self-esteem is in constant inflation.
