Friday, December 09, 2005
You might be a liberal if...
3) You believe that the same public school teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
4) You believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid.
8)You believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
10) You believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11) You believe there was no art before federal funding.
12) You believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels of entertainment can't deliver the quality that PBS does.
14) You believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.
19) You believe that conservatives are racists, but that black people couldn't make it without your help.
20) You believe the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
23) You think sexual harassment is rampant, date rape pervasive, domestic violence common and Paula Jones is lying.
25)If you have ever considered the desecration of the American flag, or have a problem with God in the Pledge of Allegiance or on your money.
12 Comments:
By 
honestpartisan, at
Fri Dec 09, 04:39:00 PM:
You might be a conservative if ...
-you're against judicial activism but insist that the courts stop everything from the Endangered Species Act to McCain Feingold
-you think that state government is the best because it's closest to the people but want federal tort law, marriage law, and right-to-die law
-you insist on exquisite peer review to implement environmental regulations but want schools to teach the Old Testament in bio classes
-you think Jimmy Carter was a weak president for emphasizing human rights in foreign policy and then retroactively justify the Iraq War on grounds of spreading democracy
-you rail against political correctness and then accuse opponents of Harriet Miers of sexism
-you express the view that relativism is inconsistent with morality and then dismiss objections to Thomas Jefferson's slaveholding as being a product of his time
-you think that people who say "happy holidays" are elitist and then fight for a dividend tax cut
-you manufacture snarky straw man portrayals of people you disagree with
By Final Historian, at
Fri Dec 09, 04:46:00 PM:
Actually, a rather effective rebuttal there. But then again, it wasn't exactly top level political discourse to begin with. Such things are more about self-aggrandizement than they are about the truth.
By Cassandra, at
Fri Dec 09, 04:54:00 PM:
Well, I'm a conservative and I don't:
- want federal tort law, marriage law, and right-to-die law
- want schools to teach the Old Testament in bio classes
and didn't:
-accuse opponents of Harriet Miers of sexism
However:
I think McCain-F is probably unconstitutional and if so, that would not be judicial activism but genuinely within SCOTUS's purview. However, that is my opinion.
And:
The Jimmah Cahtah thing is a bit weak when you consider those mass graves. Democracy is the best way to make sure that never happens again. It hasn't happened in 200+ years of American history, nor with any other modern democracy. So this is just plain dumb.
And I will readily admit:
you manufacture snarky straw man portrayals of people you disagree with
By Cassandra, at
Fri Dec 09, 04:55:00 PM:
By honestpartisan, at
Fri Dec 09, 05:15:00 PM:
Yeah, Cassandra, and I'm a liberal and I don't do the things in the list in the original post either. So you see my point.
By the way, American Indians might have a different view of U.S. history then you do.
By Cassandra, at
Fri Dec 09, 06:39:00 PM:
re: So you see my point.
I thought that might be obvious from the last line of my comment.
What I hoped you might pick up from the rest of my comment is that there's generally a grain of truth in most of these things, along with the exaggerations, on both sides - since both parties have their share of extremeists who are a tad bit unreasonable, n'est pas?
Hopefully we can laugh about it a bit.
And on the American Indian thing, you're right. I'm sure they do. And since most of my family live out West, part on an Indian reservation, I do happen to have an aunt who majored in Native American history and anthropology in college. So I read about it extensively myself while I was young. So I also know that it wasn't all sweetness and light.
I know that a lot of their customs would seem pretty barbaric and brutal to us nowadays. For instance, leaving old people to die when they were no longer of use to the tribe. It just so happens that I don't judge. But I find it intensely amusing to hear people talk about the "First Peoples" and how gentle and wise and superior they were when I have read about some tribes mutililating each other, or leaving their weak and old or lame to starve or freeze to death.
Cultural relativism, practiced in ignorance, is a strange beast.
By Dawnfire82, at
Fri Dec 09, 09:05:00 PM:
And a liberal one, matter of fact... what, do they think that the stories of scalpings, rapes, massacres, and torturing captives to death were just made up?
I was fed Native American apologism and revisionism all throughout my youth in school, by the same category of people who taught me that the ice caps would melt and flood the coasts by 2000, and that the US committed more atrocities in WWII than Japan.
Both political extremes manipulate facts to achieve sometimes irrational political goals, including ignoring contrary evidence, but IMO the liberals are worse about it.
By Final Historian, at
Fri Dec 09, 10:25:00 PM:
"Both political extremes manipulate facts to achieve sometimes irrational political goals, including ignoring contrary evidence, but IMO the liberals are worse about it."
Rather I would say that they are more practiced at it. Having a disproportionate influence in the educational institutions of the country helps in that regard.
I should also note that disease, spread by natural and not man made means, killed far more native americans than the europeans did.
By 
, at
Sun Dec 11, 10:33:00 AM:
I vote for the Liberal Party, and I resent the way that Americans use the word "liberal" as though it was a term of abuse.
By TigerHawk, at
Sun Dec 11, 03:11:00 PM:
By , at
Sun Dec 11, 08:40:00 PM:
You might be a liberal if 1.YOU THINK THAT THE UNBORN AND JUST BLOBS OF FLESH BUT TREES ROCK AND ANIMALS SHOULD RECEIVE GOVERMENT PROTECTION 2.GUNS SHOULD BE BANNED BUT DRUGS SHOULD BE LEGALIZED 3.ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE AND MIRICLE ON 34TH ST ARE OLD FASHION AND STOGEY BUT DANCES WITH WOLVES AND BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY ARE CLASSICS 4.ANIMALS SHOULD HAVE A CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT BUT THE 2ND AMENDMENT SHOULD BE REPEALED 5.FRANK CAPPERA AND GLEN FORD ARE IDIOTS BUT MICHEAL MOORE AND OLIVER STONE MAKE CLASSICS 6.CONSERVATIVE CHRISTAIN ARE EVIL BUT LIBERALS ARE GOOD 7.DICK AND JANE A REDICLOUS NONSNENSE BUT HEATHER HAS TWO MOMIES AND DADDYS ROOMATE ARE WHAT EVERY KID FROM K TO 12 SHOULD READ 8.ALL BUISNESSES SHOULD BE SUED AND MADE TO PAY FOR A PERSONS IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR 9.THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER SHOULD BE REPLACED WITH THE AGE OF AQUARIUS AND THE BALD EAGLE REPLACED WITH A PINK CHICKEN AND OLD GLORY SHOULD BE REPLACED WITH THE RAINBOW FLAG OF THE GAY/LESBIAN ECO-FREAKS 10.CHRISTMAS,THANKSGIVING AND EASTER SHOULD ALL BE REPALCED WITH KWANZA AND EARTHDAY
By Lanky_Bastard, at
Mon Dec 12, 02:32:00 PM:
REDICLOUS NONSNENSE!!
(cause the capital letters just make it funnier)
As Cassandra says of extremists:
Hopefully we can laugh about it a bit. Levity is precious, but use with care...some readers don't quite get the joke, and can't handle all that red meat at once.
