Thursday, December 09, 2004

Cleaning out the pantry 

The TigerHawk wife left a message on my cell phone this afternoon, reporting an infestation of sorts in the kitchen cabinet that serves as our pantry. My job was is to remove all items, spray it with insecticide, and restock it as appropriate. Unfortunately, in the course of this chore I came across this box of corn starch: Posted by Hello

This box of corn starch raises a number of serious questions, not the least of which is whether we spend enough time examining theoretically perishable food under our control. Beyond that fairly basic point is the mysterious history of this particular package. On the date on the box, May 7, 1986, we were moving from Ann Arbor to Chicago, or perhaps had just arrived in Chicago. If we have owned this box since it was purchased from the store, she almost certainly bought it in Ann Arbor, before we graduated from law school. Neither of us believe that we have moved this corn starch five times. That would require us to admit things about ourselves that no therapy could redeem.

Fortunately, there is another slightly more plausible explanation, but the TigerHawk mother is not going to be happy that I'm passing it along to the world. Oh well.

We bought this house from my mother in March, 1999, not long after my father died. She had left for Virginia, trusting the house to the tenancy of my soon-to-be brother-in-law, who spent most of his time in a lab down at the university. So this corn starch may have belonged to my parents, or my brother-in-law.

Since my brother-in-law is was the sort of guy who travelled everywhere with a sleeping pad and a toothbrush and could pack most of his important possessions into a small Honda, we're guessing that he didn't carry around a box of corn starch since the second Reagan Administration. No, this belonged to my parents. And now it is ours.

Can you believe how inexpensive corn starch was in 1986?


By Blogger LegalXXX, at Thu Dec 09, 09:08:00 PM:

I don't see what the problem is--you did BUY the corn starch prior to the suggested date, correct?

Should be good to go then.  

By Blogger toothdigger, at Thu Dec 09, 09:30:00 PM:

now that's a hoot... i love to think that you packed that sad little box of cornstarch into a moving van 5! times...  

By Blogger Fausta, at Fri Dec 10, 08:30:00 AM:

I wonder how much you could get for that on Ebay.  

By Blogger Screwy Hoolie, at Fri Dec 10, 09:02:00 AM:

Too hilarious! Like a previous commenter, I love to think of that corn starch moving five times, but, as a member of the reality-based community, I'll accept the facts...

Remind to tell you sometime about the sack of potatoes that somehow ended up in the back of my utility closet, providing shelter to a column of fat roaches.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Dec 11, 04:55:00 AM:

It appears that Mrs. Tigerhawk's response to this discovery was measured compared to Mrs. Parkway's reaction to a similar discovery several years ago. Upon seeing one and only one "BUG - OMIGOD A BUG," the entire house was stripped of everything that could remotely be described as orgnic, Anything that might have been breathed on by a single critter was washed in water approaching the boiling point, and a swat team of professional bug zappers was enlisted.

When the lead swat guy pulled me aside to explain that this was a tiny, localized problem that really didn't require the massive force that was being requested, I explained that I was dealing with a person who damned near has to be medicated upon seeing anything with six legs.

He understood.

Parkway Rest Stop

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