Monday, July 26, 2004

Hippy chick pie wagons and the return of Jimmy Carter 

USA Today decided it would be a good idea to secure the services of Michael Moore and Ann Coulter to cover the Democratic National Convention, each from their own perspective. That cartoon of a newspaper then rejected Ann's first column, so Human Events picked it up, complete with USA Today's annotations.
“Apparently," said Coulter, "USA Today doesn’t like my ‘tone,’ humor, sarcasm, etc. etc., which raises the intriguing question of why they hired me to write for them in the first place. Perhaps they thought they were getting Catherine Coulter.”

Ann raises a good question -- what could have possessed the mayonnaise of American newspapers to think that its readers would suddenly want red pepper? Here's a glimpse of the column they rejected, the starting point for the title of this post:
Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do. My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags. The people sporting shirts emblazoned with the "F-word" are my opponents. Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side, most of them barely able to conceal their eye-rolling.


Democrats are constantly suing and slandering police as violent, fascist racists -- with the exception of Boston's police, who'll be lauded as national heroes right up until the Democrats pack up and leave town on Friday, whereupon they'll revert to their natural state of being fascist, racist pigs....

As for the pretty girls, I can only guess that it’s because liberal boys never try to make a move on you without the UN Security Council's approval. Plus, it’s no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid cars. My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention.

Ann's column roars on and on in more or less the same vein, interlineated with editor's remarks that prove, at least, that USA Today had no idea what it was getting into when it engaged her. Buried in the heap of scorn, though, is the usual sharp observation that bears repeating:
For 20 years, the Democrats wouldn’t let Jimmy Carter within 100 miles of a Convention podium. The fact that Carter is now their most respectable speaker tells you where that party is today. Maybe they just want to remind Americans who got us into this Middle East mess in the first place. We’ve got millions of fanatical Muslims trying to slaughter Americans while shouting “Allah Akbar!” Yeah, let’s turn the nation over to these guys.

The return of Jimmy Carter, the President who taught Islamist jihadists that Americans would cut and run, is the most powerful evidence I have seen that the leadership of the Democratic Party does not understand the nature of the enemy that we confront today.


By Blogger Brendan, at Tue Jul 27, 05:42:00 AM:

Jimmy Carter, the President who taught Islamist jihadists that Americans would cut and runIt sure was a good thing that Reagan showed the Islamist jihadists otherwise in Lebanon . . . wait a minute . . .  

By Blogger TigerHawk, at Tue Jul 27, 07:53:00 AM:

Actually, Brendan, I agree with you. In retrospect, running from Lebanon was Ronald Reagan's biggest foreign policy mistake. But he made up for it by bombing Libya.

Seriously, each of these atrocities builds on the past. Carter, Reagan and Clinton all made significant mistakes in dealing with the Islamists, and we have been paying for it ever since. But Carter established the pattern.  

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