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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Caption this! 


Having heroically captioned the first part of the now famous whispered exchange between Hill and John, give this one the old college try:



The uncreative captioners at the A.P. actually thought this was an interesting caption:

Democratic Presidential hopefuls, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-NY., left, and John Edwards, talks during a forum at the NAACP convention in Detroit, Thursday, July 12, 2007. Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio responded angrily Friday to a conversation overheard between Hillary Rodham Clinton and Edwards, in which the two spoke of limiting the number of candidates invited to participate in presidential forums. The Edwards-Clinton exchange was picked up by several broadcasters on an open microphone after the NAACP forum in Detroit on Thursday. All eight Democratic candidates took part in the program, including Barack Obama, Bill Richardson, Chris Dodd, Joe Biden, Mike Gravel and Kucinich.

They actually call that a caption? No wonder the mainstream media is losing audience! Show 'em what it should have said...

UPDATE: Whatever it was that Hillary said to Edwards, I like to imagine it was in response to this (Edwards waiving around a charicature drawing of Hillary while on the stump) the day before.

95 Comments:

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Jul 18, 10:31:00 PM:

"I hope you didn't pay more than $300 for that haircut."

Tom Maguire  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Jul 18, 11:08:00 PM:

"Psst... I just farted."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:02:00 AM:

"Out of all of them, Monica was probably the hottest."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:05:00 AM:

Hey, John... I want to get back at Bill. Interested? I'm staying at the Hilton room 802. Anytime after 1am..  

By Blogger Robin Goodfellow, at Thu Jul 19, 12:09:00 AM:

Hillary: Obi-wan never told you what happened to your father...  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:09:00 AM:

You should see the strap on that I have back at my hotel room and its all for you!!!!  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:15:00 AM:

I've found your cigars.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:18:00 AM:

Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:19:00 AM:

Fair is foul, and foul is fair  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:19:00 AM:

Stop calling Bill!  

By Blogger Gahrie, at Thu Jul 19, 12:25:00 AM:

"I'd keep Elizabeth and Cate away from Bill if I was you....."  

By Blogger Unknown, at Thu Jul 19, 12:31:00 AM:

Psst Buddy can you loan me a tampon, and a midol!  

By Blogger Unknown, at Thu Jul 19, 12:36:00 AM:

Do these lights make me look pale?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:38:00 AM:

Who does your hair?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:43:00 AM:

"What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:44:00 AM:

"This is a contract saying that you will drop out of the race and rally your supporters behind me. Either your signature or your brains will be on it. Now, walk away, Silky."  

By Blogger PatHMV, at Thu Jul 19, 12:45:00 AM:

"The supply room behind the stairwell, in 5 minutes."  

By Blogger PatHMV, at Thu Jul 19, 12:47:00 AM:

"I'm going commando."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:51:00 AM:

"Listen up, sissy boy... you better find the balls to keep that woman of yours in line, or else I'm gonna reach into your silk panties, find them myself, and then feed them to you like they were a couple of goddamned grapes."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:51:00 AM:

A little Democratic party of our own. Room 552, in an hour.  

By Blogger Fox, at Thu Jul 19, 12:53:00 AM:

Is it "brothers and sisters" or "brothAS and sistAS"?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:54:00 AM:

A profile from the above will be on the 3000 U.S. nickel.

Guess which one.  

By Blogger pst314, at Thu Jul 19, 12:55:00 AM:

Your hair, it's so silky! I've got to know who your hairdresser is.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:55:00 AM:

You get over 20% and I'll have your children killed.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 01:02:00 AM:

John, when Elizabeth said you could wear the pants in the family, I don't think she meant her pants.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 01:03:00 AM:

Are you the Keymaster?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 01:12:00 AM:

O.K. so Kennedy has a cameltoe. Stop staring.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 01:14:00 AM:

HEY IS IT OKAY IF WE GET MEGATRON AS OUR RUNNING MATE OR DO YOU PREFER STARSCREAM?  

By Blogger Dwight, at Thu Jul 19, 01:17:00 AM:

"Go long on pork. Bellies, that is. I didn't have a 10,000% return on futures by knowing nothing."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 01:20:00 AM:

"Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Side."  

By Blogger Jon M, at Thu Jul 19, 01:31:00 AM:

I hear Kucinich still wets the bed.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 01:46:00 AM:

I do declare! How can we keep Obama on the plantation?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 01:48:00 AM:

So.....I hear you're a faggot. I'm a lesbian myself, BTW. Surely I can convince you to help me get back at bill...  

By Blogger caseym54, at Thu Jul 19, 03:09:00 AM:

Senator Clinton tells candidate Edwards her favorite LBJ story.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 03:39:00 AM:

I'm most concerned about the horrible English in a caption that comes from an allegedly professional organization.

"Democratic Presidential hopefuls, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-NY., left, and John Edwards, talks ..."

It shoule be "talk". Does anyone proofread AP?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 03:40:00 AM:

Okay, I made a typo in my post.

But I'm not an international media organization, just a guy in pajamas. My point stands.  

By Blogger Wince, at Thu Jul 19, 03:53:00 AM:

Listen up, fancy boy. She's right, you know. I am too butch for most women. But with your folicular appeal and my testicular zeal, there's no tell'n where we could take this thing. Noth'n hold'n us back. We could go to the top.

Now, all we have to is get rid of these other guys. Are you with me on that? Well, are you?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 04:14:00 AM:

"In the first place, the majority of the "toiling people" in America consists of peasants, not proletarians."

Ooops... that wasn't Hillary, that was Karl Marx, and it was Germans, not Americans. My mistake.

Qwinn  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 05:03:00 AM:

"The pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle. The chalice from the palace has the brew that is true."

TCM overdose  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 05:39:00 AM:

"OK Sissyboy ... here's how you get more votes: With that hair, you need to insert some lisping into your speech, use your hands a lot more, and swish the hips when your moving around. And work in some more y'alls when speaking with the black folk. I know you can do it. Oh, and one other thing ... when you're telling that son story you've never told anyone else, and that mill worker thing ... from this point forward, your great grandpappy was a bruth-tha. Tell 'em Bill might have been the first white black President, but you've got as much in you as Obama.

When you poll high enough, I'll consider you for my VP, otherwise, I'm going with one of the other guys."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 06:35:00 AM:

"John,your slip is showing".  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 06:42:00 AM:

"John, I see daylight coming clear through from the other side".  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 06:46:00 AM:

"Remember though, if I choose you as Vice President, I will wear the pants suit in this relationship. Got it?"  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 06:52:00 AM:

"Go to Fort Marcy Park alone, sit on the park bench and wait, I will send someone to make contact with you there."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 06:58:00 AM:

No, seriously, I see a gray one!  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 07:06:00 AM:

I really like it that way though.Don't you? c.j.g. of eroticalee.  

By Blogger A Jacksonian, at Thu Jul 19, 07:08:00 AM:

"...benefit of being accused of conspiracies is that they are easy to hide... now about these lesser candidates..."

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-NY., left, and John Edwards, overheard during a forum at the NAACP convention in Detroit, Thursday, July 12, 2007 about how to handle the 'complaints department' of the primaries.  

By Blogger Unknown, at Thu Jul 19, 07:15:00 AM:

"From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee"  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 07:46:00 AM:

"No really, I do have a penis."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 07:49:00 AM:

"Uh, John, Um you have a "spot" on the front of your sport coat. I recommend burning it right away!"  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 07:54:00 AM:

"Actually John there are three Americas: One rich, one poor, and one with you eating from a feeding tube, Now back off fruit loop."  

By Blogger GreenmanTim, at Thu Jul 19, 07:57:00 AM:

Although the Galazymaster 5000 was supposed to be the most powerful telescope on the market, Hilary was disappointed that all this model showed was earwax.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 08:01:00 AM:

"How do I pronounce the word "quagmire" in a folksy Southern drawl, is it "quagmaar" or is it "quagmiahh"?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 08:03:00 AM:

John, remember one thing: You're my bitch.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 08:08:00 AM:

"I want to let you in on a little secret that no else in the entire world knows: I really don't support the troops either".  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 08:15:00 AM:

"Key" Senators Rodamus and Edwardsus Plot in the Forum

Ok, he's not a senator anymore but that's my contribution to sloppy reporting.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 08:17:00 AM:

"John lets make a deal: I'll secretly tell my supporters to vote for you if you tell your supporters to vote for me".  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 08:22:00 AM:

"Let's settle this whole election the old fashioned way: I'll Rochambeau you for it."  

By Blogger Unknown, at Thu Jul 19, 08:41:00 AM:

I'll swallow your soul!  

By Blogger Patrick, at Thu Jul 19, 08:57:00 AM:

"Remember the horse head? Next time you'll be sleeping with the fishes."  

By Blogger Purple Avenger, at Thu Jul 19, 09:16:00 AM:

There's no spider in your ear John -- those voices are in your head.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 09:19:00 AM:

You heard me right, and your little dog too.  

By Blogger 64, at Thu Jul 19, 09:29:00 AM:

Richardson uses Suave!  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 09:38:00 AM:

"You Look Pretty, John!"  

By Blogger RebeccaH, at Thu Jul 19, 10:00:00 AM:

Psst! Johnboy, your fly is open.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 10:00:00 AM:

I'll rock you're world!!  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 10:05:00 AM:

"... Mr. Mojo Risin' ..."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 10:06:00 AM:

Of course I'll fix you some biscuits and mustard, John...  

By Blogger betweenthelines, at Thu Jul 19, 10:11:00 AM:

Now follow me anywhere.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 10:19:00 AM:

Hillary Clinton, again attempting to affect a Southern Black accent, has succeeded in confusing the Center Left Trial Lawyer with the $8million home. The junior Senator from New York said "wells Isa goin' ta whup ya down Cara-lina ways ifn ya'll sez won mo' wood 'bout ma husband".  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 10:33:00 AM:

"I'm late."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 10:40:00 AM:

"Now, cough."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 10:42:00 AM:

"Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. I said, hey sugar, take a walk on the wild side."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 10:45:00 AM:

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!"  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 10:47:00 AM:

So I said to the little shit son of a bitch, I saw this parking spot first and if you don't get your fucking ass out of it right now, I'll have 10 lawyers feeding your dick through a meat grinder so fast you'll forget you ever had one.  

By Blogger Robert House, at Thu Jul 19, 12:16:00 PM:

OMG, is it just me, or does Dennis Kucinich seem even more creepy than usual today? What do you think Elizabeth sees in him anyway? She's totally hot, and he's, you know, like.. ICK!!  

By Blogger Tex the Pontificator, at Thu Jul 19, 12:23:00 PM:

Your fly is open.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 12:39:00 PM:

"Does the name 'Vince Foster' mean anything to you?"  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 01:07:00 PM:

"I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?"  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 01:15:00 PM:

"Want to see Bill turn green and yellow? Just move your hand a little to the left and down. YYEESSS---THERE! THERE! THERE!"
TED  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 01:33:00 PM:

I'm seriously considering dumping Bill. Would you like to be the next First Lady, Sweetcheeks?  

By Blogger Gordon Smith, at Thu Jul 19, 01:43:00 PM:

Tic. Tac.  

By Blogger sbw, at Thu Jul 19, 01:45:00 PM:

John, For $400 you'd have thought the barber would have trimmed those tiny hairs I can see in your ear.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 02:24:00 PM:

"They'll make bigger boards and bigger nails, and soon, they will make a board with a nail so big, it will destroy them all! Bwahahahahahaha!"  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 02:24:00 PM:

"Plastics."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 02:26:00 PM:

"I know what you're thinking. "Did she fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 02:28:00 PM:

"You don't have to say anything, and you don't have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, John? You just put your lips together and... blow."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 03:06:00 PM:

"Do you remember what Col. Jessup said about the best things in life, Mr. Vice President?"  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 03:08:00 PM:

"You paid $400 for a trim? I hear Vitter only paid $300 for it."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 03:56:00 PM:

Mrs. Clinton: I know you will never entirely comprehend this, John, but you must believe I did not know it would be you. I served them. I fought for them. I'm on the point of winning for them the greatest foothold they would ever have in this country. And they paid me back by taking your soul away from you. I told them to build me an assassin. I wanted a killer from a world filled with killers and they chose you because they thought it would bind me closer to them.
[Puts her hands on John's face]
Mrs. Clinton: But now, we have come almost to the end. One last step. And then when I take power, they will be pulled down and ground into dirt for what they did to you. And what they did in so contemptuously underestimating me.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 06:45:00 PM:

Edwards: "I have to do what, with my what, to get the VP spot?!"  

By Blogger Marty, at Thu Jul 19, 07:47:00 PM:

My dick is bigger than yours.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 08:22:00 PM:

"There is no spoon."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jul 19, 10:02:00 PM:

"Harry Potter dies in chapter 34."  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Jul 21, 02:17:00 PM:

Thank god, we didn't give her our phone numbers.  

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