Saturday, May 22, 2010
I saw Robin Hood last night. Yes, it exceeds the basic requirement that it be "better than the Kevin Costner version," but I'm going to climb out on a limb and say that neither Russell Crowe nor Ridley Scott improved their personal brand equity with this film. The plot was, at best, incoherent, and Crowe's Robin was not nearly inspirational enough to rally all of England against an invasion from France. Maximus mailed in, I would say. Still, there were a lot of arrows and more than enough gurgling shots through the throat to keep me engaged, if only the story were not so offensive to history in the little things. Now, I'm not really troubled by battles that did not happen or a wholly ridiculous conception of French monarchical power or amphibious landing craft that looked like they might have stormed ashore on D-Day, but that they were wooden. All of that is well within traditional Hollywood license. No, I'm referring to Marion Loxley's great worry that they would not be able to plant crops because they had no "seed corn." Really? They worried about a corn shortage in England 300 years before Columbus sailed? Was there not one person on the Robin Hood set who did not know that freaking corn is a New World crop?
Goddamn. See it only if your date is cute.
UPDATE: I stand corrected on the corn point. It hurts, but we are nothing if we do not admit our mistakes.
"England and America are two countries separated by a common language."
George Bernard Shaw
The Corn Laws were mercantilist tariffs enacted in the early 19th Century, post-Columbian by 300+ years, but point well made.
Saw the film last weekend. Fell asleep after watching men run around the forest for 20 minutes...awoke later to the sounds of more men running around the forest...back asleep...awoke one last time to see the same guys running around the same forest.
Guess you had to be there. My wife said it was entertaining. I'll take her word for it.
Marian: Why, you speak treason! ... Robin: Fluently. ...
There's only one "Robin Hood." Erroll Flynn was born to play Robin Hood. In 1938, it was also the first-ever Hollywood movie made in color ... the Avatar of its day.
My son enlightened me about the new Robin Hood. He didn't want to see it because the kid buzz is that "the script sucked." Seems they started top-down with the idea "let's re-invent Robin Hood" and never got the script right. QED
Ridley Scott should know better ... Alien and Gladiator were great because they had brilliant scripts. Alien is a genre bender. Gladiator is more than a rehash of Spartacus.
Thank god they'll never try to remake Gunga Din.
I made a mistake last night and it felt good to admit it, explain it, and say "I'm genuinely sorry." Edison's boast was that he was wrong 99% of the time - to blog is to innovate "Edisonly."
I walked out toward the end but will catch the rest on cable.
Here is what is so horrible to me - they felt the need to replace the rich noble with a poor "grunt" who pretends to be the rich noble. Why? It's this Hollywood meme that the poor are going to teach the rich a lesson in virtue? Or that the thought of a nobleman fighting for the oppressed is not marketable? Or rich people are mean to poor people so they could not possibly fight in common cause against oppression? [The anti-tea party film.] But at least Richard and the real Loxley were portrayed well enough.
Robin Hood defended the free enterprise system, it's employees and their families, and it's tax payees against the government. Independently speaking for my part, his is the Republican cause.
The ultimate Ayn Rand movie now is Iron Man 2 ... it's Atlas Shrugged revisted ... I thought it was great.
...amphibious landing craft that looked like they might have stormed ashore on D-Day, but that they were wooden.
Most of the landing raft were Higgins Boats, and those were mostly made of wood:
This is a wonderful history of "corn" in England:
From none other, TH, than Iowa (though admittedly, Iowa State -- but that's what land grant colleges are there for.
"The ultimate Ayn Rand movie now is Iron Man 2 ... it's Atlas Shrugged revisted ... I thought it was great."
Ayn Rand of course was Jewish, and though nonobservant she was a strong defender of Israel:
Ayn Rand on Israel
We evil Zionist Jooooos are in yer mind, PD, takin' it over fer our werld domination bwahahahaha! We're so fiendishly clever! But to be honest, it wasn't a tough job.
It's fine to be pro-Israel ... I merely insist you do your own fighting and dying to defend it instead of depending on the USA's soldiers, workers and taxpayers.
I admire the achievements of many Jews and Zionists (Theodore Herzl for example) ... I might have liked Hitler's postcards, too; Lenin's strategems; or Mao's axioms. The point is not to equate them by any means but to demonstrate discernment amongst issues.
"I admire the achievements of many Jews and Zionists"
"Zionists are also racists, terrorists, and murderers of men, women, and children"
Do you think you're fooling anyone with this crap? Like I said, thanks once again for proving that antisemites are nitwits, misfucks and born losers. In another thread I said I was proud that idiots like you are antisemites. Let me rephrase that. I'm DAMNED proud that idiots like you are antisemites.
To be clear again: I am not anti-Semitic. I don't want the US armed forces fighting and dying for the Zionist cause; Zionists can fight and die for Israel on their own.
That you find a contradiction is your intellectual failing; and indicative of a dangerous narrative that I hope the US citizenry is well-informed enough to ignore.
Please, please don't let your dislike of Costner (I'm guessing that's mostly what's at issue here) to color your enjoyment of his Robin Hood movie. What was not to like about it?
Great forests, sets and cinematography - check.
Morgan Freeman - check.
Alan Rickman playing the Sheriff for laughs - check.
Witches and Celts - check.
And ... Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio!!!! Geez, you are hard to please.