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Saturday, January 26, 2008

Officially, the buttocks is a "sexual organ" 


The federal government has ruled that the "buttocks is a sexual organ." This is strange, because the buttocks is not actually an organ. It is "either of the two rounded prominences on the human torso that are posterior to the hips and formed by the gluteal muscles and underlying structures." Yes, they can be attractive, but they can also be repulsively unattractive. The same might be said -- and it often is -- of thighs. Are they, too, sexual organs?

This sort of hair-splitting silliness is what comes from regulating that which should not be regulated.


9 Comments:

By Blogger Fausta, at Sat Jan 26, 02:50:00 PM:

How cheeky of them!  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Jan 26, 03:28:00 PM:

I agree it's kind of stupid, but the regulation did also read "or excretory organ," which is probably what did them in.  

By Blogger TigerHawk, at Sat Jan 26, 03:47:00 PM:

D'fire, I would agree that the anus is an excratory organ, but there was no allegation that the anus was visible. The buttocks is no more an excratory organ than, again, the thighs are a urinary organ.  

By Blogger Adam Lawson, at Sat Jan 26, 04:30:00 PM:

Yes, they can be attractive, but they can also be repulsively unattractive.

That can be said about the female genitals, too. Sometimes it can actually be pleasant to view, while other times, it can look like... well I'll leave that part off.  

By Blogger GreenmanTim, at Sat Jan 26, 04:38:00 PM:

Had the adult female in question been wearing a thong when viewed from the rear, the only part of it that would be visibly covering the buttocks (as opposed to the anus) would be a small triangle above the region of the sacrum and the coccyx. So one may logically infer that the actual offending sexual organ is not the buttocks, but the sacral area, which as anyone who has ever been to a shopping male or public high school knows full well, modern youth proudly display in tattooed glory.

The Federal Communications Commission is not a court of law but a politically appointed body, so it is not stretching the point to note that that logically reasoned arguments such as the one I propose above were probably not the deciding factor. Though I will note the infamous thong featured in Kenneth Starr's investigation, and he, no doubt, knew a sexual organ when he saw one. Case closed.  

By Blogger GreenmanTim, at Sat Jan 26, 04:40:00 PM:

Egad, did I just mistype "shopping male?" instead of "mall"? Sigmund Freud, my slip is showing.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Jan 26, 05:30:00 PM:

The buttocks is not an organ. Nor is it sexual, no reproductive ability at all. Slick a good one down though, and it arouses sexual interest.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Jan 26, 06:38:00 PM:

Hey, what about toes??  

By Blogger Noumenon, at Sun Jan 27, 12:37:00 AM:

Perhaps if the Supreme Court were to divine the original intent of Congress, they'd find that they actually meant to issue fines for "sexy organs."  

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