Friday, October 19, 2007
Lame excuse of the day
The vending machine in our office has been out of Diet Coke for a week. Since I enjoy drinking several Diet Cokes per day even when I'm not in budget meetings from dawn 'till dusk, I finally snapped this morning and got one of our top people working on the problem. Here's what I get back: "Found out our supplier has had a shortage of Diet Coke."
There's a shortage of Diet Coke? I'm calling bullshit.
11 Comments:
By 
antithaca, at
Fri Oct 19, 05:43:00 PM:
I think you've called this one right. I'm guessing the guy on the other end of your "top person's" call was thinking...
"get off my back bud, it's friday"
On another note, our office vending machine (entire floor's actually) caught on fire several weeks ago. They took it away. We still don't have a replacement.
Is there a shortage of vending machines as well?
By SR, at
Fri Oct 19, 05:55:00 PM:
Ahhhh! The real reason for this week's market selloff.
By Sara (Pal2Pal), at
Fri Oct 19, 05:59:00 PM:
If it is any consolation, the AM-PM mini-mart and the USA Today mini-mart near my home have both been out of Diet Coke all week. The Albertsons mini-mart on the other corner had a few 16 oz. bottles left, no 1 or 2 litres. I don't drink from cans, so I don't know what the supply was from any of the stores as far as cans go.
I'm in So. Calif. and I hear the excuse every few months from the store owners. And, I feel just as you do when I hear it.
By 
, at
Fri Oct 19, 07:43:00 PM:
You inadvertently stumbled upon the secret, all the Diet Coke is being diverted to supply the secret Iran invasion force being assembled by the evil neocons. Those Pepsi-sipping Persians will never suspect
By , at
Fri Oct 19, 08:09:00 PM:
You shouldn't drink that chemical concoction anyway.
I spoke with a doctor once who told me that all his colleagues agreed on three things:
1) Never drink diet sodas.
2) Never eat bacon
3) I can't remember the third.
I still sin on 2) now and then since I love bacon, but I stay away from pop and am happier for it.
A cold glass of water beats the heck out of a Diet Coke but, of course, your mileage will vary.
By , at
Fri Oct 19, 08:13:00 PM:
Maybe Sandy Berger swiped the formula.
By , at
Fri Oct 19, 11:24:00 PM:
Jews and the Bush-Cheney cabal are trying to corner the market on Diet Coke by artificially manipulating the market. Wake up, America!
By , at
Fri Oct 19, 11:58:00 PM:
Welcome to Soviet World Union, comrades!
By , at
Sat Oct 20, 12:59:00 AM:
Now thats realy falling behind i mean a vending machine thats been without diet coke for a week the person to fill it is falling behind
By , at
Sat Oct 20, 04:50:00 AM:
Makes you wonder.
About six months ago, there was no Bass Ale to be purchased in the state of NC, according to more than one source. You wonder if the distributor is at odds with the next guy in the supply chain, or what. Anyway, that unfortunate circumstance lead me to Samuel Smith's Old Brewery Pale Ale, Winterbrew, and one of their Organics. Thus, there was a silver lining.
I burned out on DC awhile back, and switched to Fresca and Diet 7UP.
JT
By , at
Sat Oct 20, 10:28:00 AM:
You guys all missed the obvious connection. Long, intensive, exhaustive research for literally minutes upon end has revealed these two interesting facts:
- The sale of Mentos has increased 400% over the past year.
- Availability of Diet Coke has decreased 400% over the past year.
Coincidence? I think not. Obviously, our nation's budding scientists are seeking safe environmental alternatives to the horrific CO2-emitting space shuttle booster rockets.
The question we should be asking ourselves is, why is Tigerhawk trying to stop the progess of science? If China leaps ahead of us by placing a Mentos-DietCoke-powered rocket on the Moon, who are we going to blame?
Tigerhawk, and his dirty ilk that wish to hog this valuable national resource all to themselves.
My long, intensive, exhaustive research also reveals a few other interesting goodies:
- The government's plan to remove Diet Coke from the shelves and have it be put under the auspices of the NSA and NASA reaches as far as the remote island of Palau:
"I think my melodrama is not helped in the least by the fact that there has been a Diet Coke shortage on island for over a month now. Oh yeah, you heard that right. Diet. Coke. Shortage. There's none in the grocery store, none in the convenience stores, none in the restaurants."
http://honinterrupted.baltiblogs.com
(I'm not bothering to embed these things, but they're all real links if you wish to cut & paste.)
- Were you aware Diet Coke is "the Scientology of soft drinks" and must be stopped?
"Anyone who’s worked among the chattering classes - or spends any time around women aged 16 - 35 - knows this: a sudden shortage in the supply of Diet Coke would do more damage to our fine republic than any oil crisis. My sister, a former campaign finance director, used to guzzle two liters of that foul sh*t a DAY, and she regarded her daily six-pack like a mama bear would her cubs - God help you if you found yourself blocking her eyeline."
http://www.frinktank.com/diet-coke-is-the-scientology-of-soft-drinks-and-must-be-stopped
- Tigerhawk (and others like him) are possibly the reason for the genocide in Darfur:
"But, in an act of defiance, responding to the President’s threats, the Sudanese ambassador to the United States raised the stakes a bit higher: He threatened to cut off America’s supply of Coca-Cola."
"I am not an import/export expert, but if the ambassador’s claims are true (and others think they are), the culture of Diet Coke could be responsible for the on-going genocide in Darfur."
http://www.theseminal.com/2007/06/01/darfur-and-diet-coke-how-cola-may-contribute-to-genocide
- Diet Coke is so corrosive that it only takes 8 minutes to dissolve a tooth. Imagine what it's doing to Tigerhawk's stomach! Pure, unadulterated scientific evidence here:
http://72.14.205.104/search?q=cache:_cqsx3Z7lL8J:www.alltooflat.com/pranks/myths/teeth/+diet+coke+shortage&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=33&gl=us
- Diet drinks aren't actually "sweet", they just taste sweet because the aspartame tricks the brain into thinking its sweet. Also, should Tigerhawk become pregnant, there's a serious concern about birth defects from aspartame overdoses.
http://72.14.205.104/search?q=cache:SavmbOKvzNoJ:joi.ito.com/archives/2002/10/26/is_diet_coke_bad_for_you.html+diet+coke+shortage+myths&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=5&gl=us
And finally, in my long, exhaustive Google search for "diet coke shortage", #5 on the page offers this revealing insight into the conspiracy-driven Truther mentality:
"Here's what I get back: 'Found out our supplier has had a shortage of Diet Coke.' There's a shortage of Diet Coke? I'm calling bullshit."
This just proves that if you look long and hard enough, you can find ANY crazy conspiracy on the Web!
Actually, Hawk, that's pretty hot of Google to have a post from late yesterday afternoon already in their database. In the old days, it'd take a month to get spidered. It makes me wonder if the 'bots have gotten that much better, or whether Google is specifically spidering news & blog sites more frequently than normal sites.
Well, they say "learn something new every day", and, admittedly, most of us probably didn't know beans about Diet Coke when we woke up this morning.
But just look at us now. :)
