Friday, December 22, 2006
Neologisms
A friend sent me the following list of neologisms, which are alleged to have been the winning entries in a contest sponsored by The Washington Post. I'm sure I'm just about the last person in the world to see them (this seems to have been floating around for a couple of years), but perhaps they are also new to you.
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), the state of being appalled over how much weight you have gained
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and just sits there in plain sight
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
2 Comments:
By 
Triton'sPolarTiger, at
Sat Dec 23, 02:53:00 PM:
Tigerhawk,
Here's another one for your list:
incesticide (n.), a substance, typically delivered as an aerosol, that is used to prevent excess reproduction in the state of Alabama.
I haven't Googled it, but the first I ever heard of it was over Thanksgiving dinner - my brother-in-law misspoke, to the hilarious delight of all in attendance.
Merry Christmas,
Triton
By 
, at
Sat Dec 23, 03:31:00 PM:
Have you ever heard of the HOME TOWN LEXICON for COMPUTER TERMS. MOUSE. WHAT THE CAT CATCHES MOUSE PAD WHAT THE HIPPIES SAY WHERE A MOUSE LIVES SCREEN. KEEPS OUT THE BUGS BYTE.WHAT THE BUGS DO KEY BOARD.WHERE THE CAR AND HOUSE KEYS ARE PUT DOT MATRIX.MARRIED TO DAN MATRIX LAP TOP.WHERE THE KITTY SLEEPS MAINFRAME.WHATS USED WHEN BUILDING A HOUSE MOWDEM.WHAT YOU DO WITH THE WEEDS
