Tuesday, November 29, 2005

KerryWatch: MisconScrewed Again 

Poor John Kerry. The press-shy Junior Senator from Massachusetts who keeps his finger on the pulse of fresh-def urban culture would like nothing better than to forget the bitter partisan wounds of last year's election season. If only the media would quit dragging him into the limelight so he could quietly represent the needs of his Massachusetts constituents from the sidelines:

Asked what hurt him the most during the campaign, Kerry mused about how ''all of us are flawed as human beings" and ''I think I have a strong record" before raising his voice and declaring: ''One thing I know is that I didn't flip-flop on anything."

We sympathize, Senator. The lies of those partisan hacks at Faux News find their way into so many dialogues these days.

But when the call comes, the upright man rushes to answer. And so it appears Senator Kerry (D., Vietnam) is once more positioning himself to bring the Strong Strength of StrongnessTM back to a nation adrift. As I reported on another forum last week, after announcing that he still has his eye on the Presidency in 2008 (sacre bleu! who knew?) Mr. Kerry let fall another media bombshell:

The windsurfing Senator from Massachusetts also announced that if he had it to do over again, he would vote differently on the authorization to use force in Iraq:

During the interview, Kerry also said his vote authorizing President Bush to use military force was a mistake. He says he'd change his vote knowing what he does today.

We officially pronounce ourselves shocked at this totally unforseen turn of events. If stalwart men like Senator Kerry go wobbly in the GWOT, then all is lost.

Some might be tempted to see this pronouncement as... qu'est ce que c'est? une flippe-floppe? But more enlightened observers think of it as a nuanced clarification of the Senator's earlier position:

Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry said on Monday he would have voted for the congressional resolution authorizing force against Iraq even if he had known then no weapons of mass destruction would be found.

Taking up a challenge from President Bush, whom he will face in the Nov. 2 election, the Massachusetts senator said: "I'll answer it directly. Yes, I would have voted for the authority. I believe it is the right authority for a president to have but I would have used that authority effectively."

For those readers at home who don't speak French, the use of the word effectively denotes Mr. Kerry's courageous, principled, and unwavering policy of support for forcible regime change in Iraq, even without funding and without the aid of Germany and France. Sadly, even Mr. Kerry's laudable attempts at plain speaking cannot insulate him from the baseless sneers of the snarky reich-wing punditocracy:
From the Associated Press comes evidence that John Kerry* is running for president again, reprising the strategy that worked so well in 2004:

Kerry initially voted in favor of a Republican-sponsored resolution calling on President Bush to explain his strategy for success in Iraq. Minutes later, the Democrat changed his vote.

How to explain this unprecedented volte-face from The Stalwart Senator? The linked AP article elaborated:

Kerry, last year's Democratic presidential candidate who is said to be considering another run, first voted for the GOP resolution. He then left the chamber and was seen just steps off the Senate floor talking briefly to his senior home state colleague, Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass. Kerry walked back into the chamber and changed his vote.

We think Mr. Kerry has shrewdly adopted the brilliant new battlefield strategery lately proposed by Rep. John Murtha on the House floor. Dubbed by some the rhythm method of warfare, the new tactic is generating much excitement amongst the vast reich-wing war punditocracy, threatening to displace even the reigning solution-du-jour, trainspotting. Sadly, shallow-minded critics often misconscrew Murtha's rhythm method, erroneously labelling it "premature withdrawal" or characterizing it as "pulling out" before "accomplishing our objective". As I explain here, nothing could be farther from the truth:

Ooohhh...it's not a premature withdrawal...we're just redeploying to the rear

I suggest that Mr. Kerry, by withdrawing his prior vote, is not "cutting and running". He is just, on the advice of the Senior Senator from Massachusetts, redeploying his forces leaving him free to attack from another direction.

After all, the man of nuance always leaves his options open.


By Blogger Charlottesvillain, at Tue Nov 29, 01:30:00 PM:

Wonderful, clever post Cassandra! Kerry really is the gift that keeps on giving.

So nice to have you aboard (even if your presence does knock me down another rung in the Tigerhawk pecking order!)  

By Blogger Cardinalpark, at Tue Nov 29, 01:44:00 PM:

very cool. welcome indeed.


By Blogger Cassandra, at Tue Nov 29, 02:05:00 PM:

Thank you :)  

By Blogger TigerHawk, at Tue Nov 29, 02:09:00 PM:

Not being birds, we don't peck in order. I'm intensely entertained. Welcome aboard, indeed.  

By Blogger Cardinalpark, at Tue Nov 29, 03:37:00 PM:

By the way, who do you think THK is thinking about in the picture? Senator Heinz? Or maybe George Soros? Ted Turner?

It clearly ain't John...  

By Blogger Cassandra, at Tue Nov 29, 03:44:00 PM:

Probably rapper 50 Cent, who commented the other day that George Bush was "such a gangsta...I can't believe how much of myself I see in him".

The mind boggles.  

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