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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Fisking Turner 

Ted Turner, revealing his worldliness once again, gave a recent foreign policy speech at Kansas State University, summarized here at AccessNorthGa.com (via Drudge). My comments (difficult to type while shaking with rage) are in italics.


Media mogul Ted Turner said Monday that Iraq is "no better off" following the U.S.-led invasion that ousted dictator Saddam Hussein in 2003.

Exactly which part of Iraq is "no better off?" The persecuted Shia and Kurds? The Marsh Arabs? Aspiring journalists? Farmers? Business people? Oh, he must be referring to the fascist Sunni elements who used to run the country under Saddam. You know, the ones blowing others up.

Delivering the 141st Landon Lecture at Kansas State University, Turner said the world is at a "critical juncture" and compared the situation to that of a baseball team down two runs in the seventh inning.

Hmm. Would that be the Cubs or the Yankees? Who are we playing? Do they have a closer? Come on Ted, we want to know where you are going with this.

The philanthropist and founder of Atlanta-based CNN gave the lecture to a less-than-full auditorium. Earlier this fall, former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev delivered a similar message of peace to a packed room as he marked 20 years of the reforms he championed.

I think 'message of capitulation' would be a bit more accurate.

Turner said the situation in Iraq is serious but not hopeless. He raised concerns about global overpopulation, poverty and hunger.

Aha, now I get it. Turner regrets that Saddam is no longer working on his many strategies to solve the regional overpopulation problem.

He also called for nuclear disarmament.

Wasn't this debate settled twenty years ago? Ok Ted, why don't you and Jimmy Carter have another talk with the North Koreans. Let us know how it comes out.

He said the U.S. and Russia still have thousands of nuclear weapons pointed at each other on a "hair trigger." He said if he were in charge _ making it clear he wasn't and never would be _ "we'd be rid of them."

And thereby removing an effective deterrent to any other country with nuclear weapons and a grudge. Nice work, Ted.

He warned that a nuclear war could "kill everything on the planet" and said it could take place in an afternoon. Turner said he was afraid someone in power could make the mistake to launch a nuclear war, including President Bush, based on his previous decisions.

That's right, the danger here is Bush, as usual. Not the oppressed North Korea, Pakistan, or Iran. Who exactly, by the way, does he think Bush is going to nuke?

"You have to question ... the president on a lot of decisions he's made," Turner said. "He might just think launching those weapons would be a good thing to do. ... He thought Iraq was."

Liberating Iraq, launching a nuclear strike, c'est la meme chose!

Turner said war is an outdated form of diplomacy that has stopped working.

Uh, it would have been nice if there was a consensus on this point on, say, September 10, 2001. I'm looking forward to the new, updated forms of diplomacy that work. Like Jimmy Carter's North Korean deal, right?

"You would think that we would have learned that in Vietnam," he said.

You would think we would have learned from Vietnam not to undermine our own efforts with defeatist, utopian drivel.

Turner also said the authority of superpowers of tomorrow will be derived from education, health care, and science and technology. He encouraged the United States to focus it energies on those areas.

That's probably true. The Islamofascists would never have attacked us if Hillary's plan for universal health care had gone through. And of course stem cell research is well known as a great pacifier of nations.

"That's what's going to be on top in the future," he said.

Things are becoming increasingly globalized, he said, and if humanity is going to survive, its members are going to have to work together.

Work together at what, exactly? Organic farming, maybe. (I think this address would be more productive if delivered in Tehran, or perhaps a cave in Pakistan.)

"We are going to survive together, or we are going to perish together," he said.

Whatever, Ted.

4 Comments:

By Blogger Cardinalpark, at Tue Nov 29, 03:34:00 PM:

Another absurd billionaire trying to impress young college women.

Don't laugh....  

By Anonymous BIRDZILLA, at Tue Nov 29, 04:23:00 PM:

This comming from a egotistical big mouth who thinks the whole world revovolves around him a blabbering idiot who has compaired himself to some of the worlds greatest movers ahd shakers who is called DADDY GREENBUCKS by the eco-freaks and who has made nasty comments about christians and tries to brainwash kids with mindless eco crap like CAPTIAN PLANET and is the bigist land horder in the country and while all the time he logs,mines his property and holds canned hunts and pays big to the eco-freaks animal rights wackos and his Communist News Neywork the biggist promoter of left-wing propeganda and a real ego and a all around jerk  

By Blogger Georgfelis, at Fri Dec 02, 04:04:00 PM:

Didn't even know he had been here for the Landon Lecture until reading this. Former Kansas Governer Alf Landon's lecture series used to be a bit more conservative, back in the 80s we had President Reagan. Audio and transcripts are at http://ome.ksu.edu/lectures/landon/past.html  

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