Friday, May 13, 2005
The nurse's secret weapon
We were advised [in nursing school back in 1968] that we would be facing situations previously unknown to us. Even though we were expected to conduct ourselves in nothing less than a professional manner at all times, it was possible that due to the combination of young women, male nakedness and the Playboy version of the posssiblities during encounters with nurses, some of the male patients might behave in a manner that was disrespectful and have an erection.
This, of course, was unacceptable and had to be discouraged. The best way to go about this was to to carry a metal teaspoon in your uniform pocket. If any one would dare disrespect you by having an erection, all you had to do was to take out the spoon and give a good solid *thwap* to the offending penis and that would cause deflation and make it crystal clear that you would allow no more of that sort of thing.
We could hardly get to the cafeteria fast enough to get our spoons. There we were on the following morning - 6:30 am, nervous and not entirely sure what to expect from our first day on the floors, but we at least had the certainty of knowing that we were well-prepared to handle that one situation. We carried those spoons for weeks until it became clear that we would not be needing them after all.
During my many years as a nurse, I have seen hundreds and hundreds of penises of every shape and size and have never once had to deploy the teaspoon. So far.
Suzette has been nurse blogging all week in recognition of National Nurses Week. She has featured a great New Jersey nurse every day this week, finishing on this Friday the 13th with herself! Go here and roll through the preceding posts.
4 Comments:
By 
, at
Sat May 14, 10:16:00 AM:
I guess nurses don't have to take an oath that includes "First, do no harm."
Rob A.
(FWF)
By , at
Mon Dec 19, 09:38:00 PM:
By , at
Tue Jan 02, 01:54:00 PM:
That's discusting. I happen to get erections very easily and have gotten one in front of a nurse when she was checking the site of my appendicitis. It wasn't on purpose and I was embarrassed. She said don't worry, it happens. She was a nice nurse, you sound like a bitch.
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