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Monday, May 09, 2005

The Huffington Post's beacon of, er, scorn 

Arianna Huffington's group blog and news service, the Huffington Post, has gone live. I scanned the first day's offerings and almost immediately had to suppress the urge to poke my eyes out. The problem with rounding up celebrities and politicians to blog is that they have too much to lose, so they have to be all sober and respectable instead of harsh. Walter Cronkite is explicit in this, at least:
I'll launch my first contribution right here: Arianna, I offer this first editorial opinion that you settle for "interesting" and recognize that it is not a synonym for "entertaining."

I hope she doesn't take his advice. Unfortunately, most of today's bloggers seem to have.

Larry David, however, is the jewel in the crown. Liberal is he, young Jedi, but funny he is, too. On why he "supports" John Bolton:
I know this may not sound politically correct, but as someone who has abused and tormented employees and underlings for years, I am dismayed by all of this yammering directed at John Bolton. Let's face it, the people who are screaming the loudest at Bolton have never been a boss and have no idea what it’s like to deal with nitwits as dumb as themselves all day long. Why, even this morning my moronic assistant handed me a cup of coffee with way too much milk in it. I was incensed.

"You stupid ignoramus," I screamed, doing all I could to restrain myself from tossing the luke-warm liquid in her face. “There's too much freaking (I didn’t say freaking) milk in here! What the freak is wrong with you?!”

“I’m sorry, sir,” she stammered. Like sorry’s going to fix everything. I’m not interested in sorry. Sorry doesn’t cut it with me.

“Look, you idiot,” I continued, “I wouldn’t mind so much if you gave me too little milk. Little can be fixed. We can add to little.”

“Shall I get you another cup?”

“No, I’ll suck on my thumb. Yes, get me another cup, you douche bag! And chew on this -- it’s going to cost you a dollar!”

Heh.

UPDATE: Slate's Jack Shafer reviews the Huff Post here. Indeed.

1 Comments:

By Blogger Jody, at Mon May 09, 10:48:00 PM:

It's a terrible thought, but her blogroll almost wanted me to delink everyone she had linked... :)
Will she be added to yours? ;)  

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