Monday, September 20, 2004
Editing Michael Moore
Michael Moore's most recent "Message" is up. Interestingly, if you apply the same editing techniques to it that Moore uses against his opponents, you can find a lot to agree with.
True. You never see that. Here's another good point:
Moore also knows whining sissies when he sees them:
Truth, it seems, is breaking out all over.
Finally, Moore exposes his keen understanding of his party's nominee:
See what I mean? If you ignore all the context -- by which I mean entire sentences, paragraphs and arguments -- you and Michael Moore actually agree on a lot of things.
Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"
True. You never see that. Here's another good point:
[Republicans] are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them -- they just simply never, ever give up. Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast....
Moore also knows whining sissies when he sees them:
Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a bounce after his convention and you would have thought the Germans had run through Poland again. The Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it. Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!"
Truth, it seems, is breaking out all over.
Finally, Moore exposes his keen understanding of his party's nominee:
If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like Kerry run.
Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty bastards down. But WE are not running for president -- Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well, I can't help you.
See what I mean? If you ignore all the context -- by which I mean entire sentences, paragraphs and arguments -- you and Michael Moore actually agree on a lot of things.
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