Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The "Crap Cannon" 

This, er, smells like an urban legend, but no matter.

Political activists planning protest rallies at the upcoming Democratic Convention in Denver have their stomachs in knots over a rumor about a crowd control weapon - known as the “crap cannon” - that might be unleashed against them.

Also called “Brown Note,” it is believed to be an infrasound frequency that debilitates a person by making them defecate involuntarily.

Imagine if the "crap cannon" had been turned on demonstrators at Kent State or the 1968 Democratic National Convention. Not only would lives have been saved, but both moments would have been opportunities for national laughter instead of mourning. What a difference it would have made.

Today, when demonstrations do not turn bloody, the main benefit might be this: Anti-war group "Code Pink" would have to change its name.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Jun 10, 08:09:00 PM:

Hmmm. Perhaps it is time to buy stock in whatever company makes "Depends" undergarments.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Jun 10, 09:24:00 PM:

There was an episode of South Park a couple of years ago in which Cartman discovers the same "brown note" and uses it get the rally to "crap their pants".  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Jun 10, 09:59:00 PM:

check my blog ans see photo evidence that the Brown Note works.  

By Blogger randian, at Wed Jun 11, 06:29:00 AM:

What does a leftist protest at a Democratic campaign convention? Isn't the nomination of a hard-core Marxist enough? More to the point, why do these protesters believe they're important enough to be targeted by this technology, even if it were real?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Jun 11, 07:37:00 AM:

A somewhat similar, and needless to say crappy, method of keeping a protester under control or "occupied" was used by the Fascists in Italy. It consisted of tying ones pant's bottoms around the cuffs to prevent leaks and then force-feeding the person a large dose of laxatives.

By Blogger Georg Felis, at Wed Jun 11, 11:42:00 AM:

As long as they only use one square of TP, they should be fine.  

By Blogger clint, at Wed Jun 11, 02:06:00 PM:

The fine folks at Mythbusters (on the Discovery Channel) dealt with this urban legend fairly conclusively.

And, honestly, what does it say about these protesters that they need to find cockamamie excuses to explain the brown stains appearing in their pants?  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Jun 11, 03:21:00 PM:

I understand your point. However for historical accuracy; the people that were shot at Kent State were not protesters. The national guard fired "warning shots" past the group of protesters which hit students who happened to be walking in the right place at the wrong time.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Jun 15, 10:06:00 PM:

Is this an admission that they are indeed all full of crap?


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