Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I Love Lists.... 

And John Hawkins has a great one going:

Most Annoying Liberals for 2005

Go check out the comments section and give me your top ten in the comments here. And while you're at it, never let it be said I'm a mean-spirited poopy-head. Give me your top-ten Most Annoying Conservatives for 2005 too.

I've always maintained that DimWittery is in ample supply on both sides of the political aisle. If you're ever in doubt of this, just turn on your TV set. If you're not throwing things within 5 minutes, the volume must be broken.

To start you off, here are some of my annoying Libs:

1. Ted Kennedy

2. Harry Reid

3. Pelooooooo-si.

4. Alan Colmes.

4. (OK, 5. but Paul can't count anyway) Paul Krugman.

6. Nick Kristoff.

7. Bob Herbert.

8. Joe ("talk to me like I'm your father") Biden.

9. John Murtha.

10. John Kerry, (D, Vietnam) What does this man stand for? Does he have any principles? The answer is blowin' in the wind...

11. Nancy Hopkins, who never met an academic theory that didn't send her running for the protection of the university administration. But don't you *dare* suggest that women aren't fully equal to men in all respects.

She just might get the vapors, you sexist pig.

12. Barbara Boxer: Senator, author, horse lover. You just can't make this stuff up:

A ton of finely tuned muscle, hide glistening, the crest of his mane risen in full sexual display, and his neck curved in an exaggerated arch that reminded Greg of a horse he'd seen in an old tapestry in some castle in Europe Jane had dragged him to. The stallion approached, nostrils flared, hooves lifting with delicate precision, the wranglers hanging on grimly. ... The stallion rubbed his nose against the mare's neck and nuzzled her withers. She promptly bit him on the shoulder and, when he attempted to mount, instantly became a plunging devil of teeth and hooves. ... Greg clutched the rails with white knuckles, wondering, as these two fierce animals were coerced into the majestic coupling by at least six people, how foals ever got born in the wild.


Heh... I had not really considered news anchors as a class of people. That opens up entirely new vistas. Just to make my husband happy, I feel honor-bound to nominate [drum roll]:

13. Gwen Ifill, who is so thoroughly and snidely biased that it almost defies belief on occasion. She's a two-shoe-er (both shoes come off and are launched in the general direction of the TV screen whenever she appears).

14. Wolf Blitzer: "They're so...poor, and so...black!" Thank you Captain Obvious. Who knew there were black people in The Big Easy? We might have overlooked the whole skin color aspect without your expert guidance. This, truly, is what America relies on "professional journalists" for.

15. Bill Clinton, who, if he hadn't been so busy feeling everyone's pain, might have actually done something about it. Like perhaps passing the education and prescription drug bills Bush got through in his first term.

16. Jimmah Cartair Our first French ex-President, once voted Most Likely to Be the Next UN Secretary General. Lord save us.

17. Helen Thomas: because the woman is truly evil, and because it allows me to bring up one of my favorite exclamations, "Helen Thomas on a treadmill!", etymology here.


By Blogger Screwy Hoolie, at Wed Dec 28, 04:56:00 PM:

Conservatives -
1. George W. Bush
2. (tie) Dick Cheney/Don Rumsfeld
3. (tie) Tom DeLay/Charles Taylor
4. Bill Frist
5. Rep. Thomas Noe
6. Kenneth Blackwell
7. Duke Cunningham
8. Armstrong Williams
9. (tie) Joe Lieberman/John McCain
10. Jack Abramoff and all his little friends
11. all those pundits who are self-described conservatives but act as partisan loyalists (Limbaugh, O'Reilly, Coulter, Hannity, etc.)

...jeez, I'd hate to list them all and fill up your comment thread...

So just use this handy link to see a more comprehensive list.

Most Annoying Liberals...

1. Ralph Nader
2. John Kerry
3. um...I'm working on it...Kanye West
4. trying...harder...

Bonus! Annoying Groups!

American Family Association
Club For Growth
Big Oil
Big Pharma
FoxNews Anchors

This is too much fun. I'm going to stop now. Maybe a list on my own blog is the way to go...

thanks for the opportunity...  

By Blogger Cassandra, at Wed Dec 28, 05:16:00 PM:

Oh Screwy. You have to try harder than that. I can name 10 annoying conservatives easily.

1. Chuck Hagel
2. John McCain
3. Sean Hannity
4. Pat Robertson
5. Arlen Specter
6. Michael Savage
7. Jerry Falwell
8. Tucker Carlson
9. Olympia Snowe (probably a misnomer)
10. Who's that dude who yells "wrong" all the time on weekend talk shows? He sends me mad but I can't remember his name.  

By Blogger Cassandra, at Wed Dec 28, 05:18:00 PM:

McLaughlin. That's his name.

Oh, and on the liberal side, Mark Shields. The man is so sour he just can never admit one nice thing about the opposition. He always looks like he just drank a glass of lemon juice. I want to send Mary Poppins after him.  

By Blogger Cassandra, at Wed Dec 28, 05:21:00 PM:

Randall Robinson: who knew black folks start munching on their own kind after only 3 days without food?

Way to perpetuate those negative stereotypes, buddy. I hear out West they have this monster with really big feet too. Ever see him? Name of Bigfoot?  

By Anonymous larwyn, at Wed Dec 28, 10:52:00 PM:

Bill Maher
really has to be added - will omit Jon Stewart who at least is sometimes funny.
Maher is NOT FUNNY!

Maddy "twinkletoes" Albright
and her girlfriends; Nancy Soderberg (laying low since Daily Show)and Wendy (a CNN

Poor MoDo, now behind that wall, will be hurt not to be on lists.

Carville and Begala get paid to be annoying and snide.

It would be easier to make a
list of the NON-ANNOYING liberals.

Mark Green, David Corn etc
etc - the cynical New Yorker

Then there's Tina Brown

I'm getting a headache trying to remember the names of the two young "Dem
strategists" that regularly
appear on Fox News shows.
Total robotic talking points
repeaters - never answer a question. Airheads that worked for Kerry.

And we haven't touched on the "race card pimps" or
the LSM.  

By Blogger Pile OnĀ®, at Wed Dec 28, 11:47:00 PM:

I am going to give this some thought, but I would derive great pleasure from breaking Bob Beckel's nose. He should be flattered by that because I don't think most of the bed-wetting crowd deserves the effort. Afterwards, I would buy him a beer, provided he shut the hell up.
Conservatives, Michael Savage, he gives cons a bad name, and if we were all like him, we would deserve it.  

By Anonymous TimDido, at Thu Dec 29, 06:44:00 AM:

I'd add Anderson "Premature Ejaculation" Cooper to the liberal side for his ridiculous hurricane coverage.

From the conservative side, demon-looking Shep Smith for the same thing. Throw in Geraldo too.

Hell, just throw in all the tut-tutting journalistic morons who pat themselves on the back for reporting sensationalistic rumors that we still have to correct to this day.  

By Blogger Cassandra, at Thu Dec 29, 11:22:00 AM:

Heh... I have to admit that though I don't watch FoxNews much, when I do Lauri Dhue just annoys the living daylights out of me.

I think it's the breathless ingenue way she signs on and off...

"this is... Lauri Dhuooooooooooooo"

She sounds like she's auditioning to be a Victoria's Secret model. I'm always vaguely reminded of the Look that what's his noodle did to such devastating effect in Zoolander.  

By Blogger cakreiz, at Thu Dec 29, 02:38:00 PM:

ah, where to start? Lauri Dhue is just alright, Cass, as are a flock (gaggle?) of Fox gals.

Can't believe that Ann Coulter didn't make anyone's list- she's a self-parody and a blast. Maher isn't funny anymore. Krugman is a smugly pompous ass. Sean Hannity is right near the top: smug, tedious, predictable, sophomoric, uninsightful- argh.  

By Blogger Cassandra, at Thu Dec 29, 03:51:00 PM:

That South Park parody of the hurricane news coverage was the funniest thing I ever saw. Except for Hubris' parody of Anderson Cooper's coverage.

That was sick. And way too funny.  

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