Friday, February 29, 2008

Wholly unproductive organic food lunatic walks in the direction of India 

If this is not laugh-out-loud funny, I don't know what is:

A man who planned to walk from Bristol to India without any money has quit, after getting as far as Calais, France.

Mark Boyle, 28, who set out four weeks ago with only T-shirts, a bandage and sandals, hoped to rely on the kindness of strangers for food and lodging.

But, because he could not speak French, people thought he was free-loading or an asylum seeker.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the geography of France, Calais is as close to England as you can get, so it is no wonder the locals were suspicious. Nevertheless, I think we all know what really happened here: the citoyens de Calais pretended not to understand Mr. Boyle.

This, I think, is the best part:
He now plans to walk around the coast of Britain instead, learning French as he goes, so he can try again next year.

Are there really a lot of opportunities to learn French along the coast of Britain? I admit, that is something I did not know. But this solution invites a more troubling question for Mr. Boyle: What happens when he gets to Italy? Will he then walk around France trying to learn Italian, all the while begging for handouts? Indeed, one can imagine this learn-as-he-goes process continuing for many years as he makes his way through the Balkans, Turkey, Iran, and Pakistan.

But wait, I was wrong. Here is the really truly best part:
Mr Boyle, a former organic food company boss, belongs to the Freeconomy movement which wants to get rid of money altogether.

No wonder he is a former "organic food company boss." All the organic food companies I know of charge vastly more, er, money for their products than their factory-farming, mass producing, hormone injecting competitors.


By Blogger Christopher Chambers, at Fri Feb 29, 07:51:00 PM:

Ha! So would it have made you feel better had he been an agri-business/food additive wog trekking across the globe.

I bet you hated "Michael Clayton."  

By Blogger D.E. Cloutier, at Fri Feb 29, 09:20:00 PM:

The traveler needs a gimmick. A donkey and a pregnant wife might help.  

By Blogger Assistant Village Idiot, at Fri Feb 29, 10:13:00 PM:

I dunno, CC. Those agribiz guys don't usually advocate getting rid of money. Most organic food guys don't either, but they seem a good deal more likely to lean that way. Anyone who overlooks the general unsafety of organic food in terms of simple things like freezing and disease, focusing instead on imagined difficulties might well come to similar conclusions about economic questions.

DEC, he'd have to move darn fast with that pregnant woman to get to India before she delivered. Carting a refrigerator like Tony Hawks might be wiser.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Mar 01, 12:14:00 AM:

"with only T-shirts, a bandage and sandals" talk about your sans cullotes...  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Mar 01, 03:08:00 AM:

With his demonstrated knowledge of geopolitics, the lad should be made Director General of the UN. We could then have million dollar programs to donate sandals, bandages and French lessons to the poor and downtrodden in exchange for rotten, infested vegetables. It will make everyone feel good!  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Mar 01, 10:47:00 AM:

As the British Sgt. Major said in 1914...."Remember boys, Wogs begin in Calais"..  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Mar 01, 01:04:00 PM:

"All the organic food companies I know of charge vastly more, er, money for their products than their factory-farming, mass producing, hormone injecting competitors."

You can always charge more for luxury goods.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Mar 01, 03:03:00 PM:

Kodos to the french they know a wacko green nut case granola muncher when they see one now why dont he try and fly to idnia by flapping his arms  

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