Monday, July 10, 2006

The most frivolous lawsuit of all time 

Just when you thought you'd heard everything...

A Portland, Ore., man is suing Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight for a combined $832 million. Allen Heckard filed suit, contending he has been mistaken for Jordan nearly every day for 15 years and he's tired of it.

"I'm constantly being accused of looking like Michael, and it makes it very uncomfortable for me," Heckard said.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon Jul 10, 09:19:00 AM:

People tell me I look like Orlando Bloom all the time, doesn't mean I'm going to sue him; It actually helps me get chicks. This dude's looking for a quick buck.  

By Blogger TigerHawk, at Mon Jul 10, 10:09:00 AM:

Somebody told me the other day that I look like Alec Baldwin. Seemed like bullshit to me, but if ever there were grounds for a "look like" lawsuit, that would be it.  

By Blogger cakreiz, at Mon Jul 10, 12:14:00 PM:

I've got a lawsuit planned against Brad Pitt on the same grounds- it's living hell being mistaken for this guy. I'm confident that the Fourteenth Amendment provides protection against this. Fortunately, the Stevens wing of the Court is still there to protect me.  

By Blogger Cardinalpark, at Mon Jul 10, 03:45:00 PM:

Sadly, it's me an Conan O'Brien. Ouch.  

By Blogger Charlottesvillain, at Mon Jul 10, 04:00:00 PM:

I see it, CP, I really see it. TH is no Baldwin, however.  

By Blogger Cardinalpark, at Mon Jul 10, 04:37:00 PM:

I hope not. I see Baldwin (ata distance) pretty regularly out on the eastern end of Long Island, and I daresay TH looks alot better. Baldwin is usually sporting 3 days extra growth, and about 30lbs of extra girth. It is not a pretty sight.  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Jul 19, 09:42:00 AM:

Count your blessings. With me, it's Ron Jeremy. :(  

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Oct 04, 07:42:00 PM:

For me - guess who: "I'll have a vodka martini, shaken, not schtirred!"  

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