Saturday, February 28, 2004
THE HAGUE, Netherlands - When U.N. prosecutors opened their case against Slobodan Milosevic (news - web sites) two years ago, they set out to get him convicted of genocide. The consensus today is, they failed.
If they can't convict Milosevic, one of the great dirtbags of the last twenty years, how would the United Nations manage the prosecution of Osama Bin Laden, were they to get their jurisdictional paws on him?
If we are sufficiently blessed that we capture Bin Laden alive, he should be tried in one of Massachussets, New York, Pennsylvania, or the District of Columbia, with New York being my favorite jurisdiction (as long as Eliott Spitzer is given no chance to grandstand). We should try the case in state court, with the common criminals. George Pataki should appoint Rudy Guilliani special prosecutor, and the trial should be televised around the world.
What about the sentence upon conviction? In this regard, I'm with my new favorite comedian, Ron White. He's untroubled by the idea that Osama Bin Laden might be tried in a jurisdiction without capital punishment, because "Osama Bin Laden is spiritually prepared to die for Islam. However, Osama Bin Laden is ill-prepared to lick grape jelly from Thunder Dick's b*tt crack."
I agree. Determine the Empire State's toughest prison, and release him into the general prison population.